What that Heineken ad can teach you about workplace conflict

What that Heineken ad can teach you about workplace conflictWhat that Heineken ad can teach you about workplace conflictAre you willing to sit down with your worst enemy and share a beer? Thats a question Heineken asked in its newest ad, which has won an enthusiastic response on the internet. For those who havent seen the Heineken clip or the fullfour-minute video, heres what its about The brand put together three pairs of strangers with opposing political views and had each pair build a bar, Ikea-style, while stopping to answer revealing questions about themselves along the way. At the end, the pairs were given an option to walk away from each other, or work through their differences over a beer.Unsurprisingly, all three took the beer, and later they had a good time catching up and felt theyd learned more about someone with other views.How to work out conflicts with coworkers, advertising editionWhile the video is already being as hailed the anti-Pepsi/Kendall Jenner ad- meaning th at it tackles political differences respectfully, rather than frivolously - Heinekens campaign also offers several lessons for how to verstndigung im strafverfahren with workplace conflict or disagreements.1. Start With Common Interests and GoalsWhen you know that you and co-worker have polar opposite ideas on how to tackle a project or interact with a client, it can be easy to obsess about your differences. Remember in that moment that the two of you probably have at least a couple of things in common.Instead, start from scratch. Look at the other persons full experience, notlagelage just this single point of disagreement. What are your common interests and goals outside of work? Then, what are your common interests and goals at the office? Chances are you probably both care about making your company a better place. Start there before tackling the more hot-button issues.2. Change Your EnvironmentWhen youve been arguing with anyone for three hours about a PowerPoint presentation in a stuffy, windowless boardroom, its easy to see why nothing gets solved. Your creativity is stifled, and youre on edge.Next time you feel like youre not getting anywhere with a co-worker or your team, take it elsewhere. You can move to the kitchen area of your office, take a stroll around the block together or grab a drink. Changing up your environment can make all the difference to how you relate.Pro tip when you walk with somebody, you not only think better, but you may be more able to be honest. Eye contact is incredibly difficult on your brain and takes away energy you need for language processing. Without constant eye contact, you can process emotions faster and speak honestly.3. Keep an Open MindOften we get so set in our ways that we forget that its not always the best thing for our views and ideas to stay the same. Sometimes disagreement with someone else can be just what we need to wake us up about our own ideas.We get it its hard to let go of being right. But its worse to be wrong and stubborn, missing out on good ideas just because you dont want to listen to someone else.So the next time a co-worker has a different opinion, step away from your position for a second and approach the problem as if youre somebody else. Admitting that youre wrong or that maybe your idea isnt the best is difficult, but its a critical part of being a great employee and an important member of any team.Focus on the big wins instead of nitpicking at the small ones. Changing the font on a team proposal from Times New Roman to Arial really isnt going to make that big of a difference. Instead, pay attention to the battles that mean the most to you and your career.Even if beer isnt your favorite drink - or you dont drink at all - Heinekens point is simple We have a lot more in common than we think, so why not use that to do something great?

4 ways to resist distraction and focus at work

4 ways to resist distraction and focus at work4 ways to resist distraction and focus at workHave you said any of these recently?I get distracted and procrastinate.I make plans but I dont follow through on them.I get things done but elend the right things.The problem oftencomes down to just one word reactive.Maybe that wasnt the word you were expecting. But reactivity isa problem people have been contemplating for thousands of years. And, yes, its a bigger issue now than ever.What is it? What can we do about it? Neuroscience and ancient wisdom from Buddhism and Stoicism haveanswers.Lets get to it . . .Your reactive brainMaybe youre lazy, maybe youre not lazy. But one thing is for certain yourbrain is.Research shows that even in our free time we often dont do what we enjoy most - we do what is easy. Your brain doesnt want to waste energy. So its always a bit lazy.Problem is, the world is not lazy. These days its constantly shouting at you.Sometimes its the siren song of entertaining t hings like text messages from friends and other times its scary things like work emails - but its shouting.Everything is demanding our attention. Wed like to make a plan and follow through or accomplish goals undistracted but the worldseems to be working against you.When I spoke to Duke professor Dan Ariely, he said exactly that the world is working against you.Heres DanThe world is not acting in our long-term benefit. Imagine you walk down the street and every store is trying to get your money right now in your pocket you have a phone and every app wants to control your attention right now. Most of the entities in our lives really want us to make mistakes in their favor. So the world is making things very, very difficult.Your lazy brain is happy to just react to that relentless bombardment of stimuli coming its way.But when youjust react, youdont usually make the best choices. And while youredefinitely doing something, yourerarely achieving your goals.Thats because when youre reac ting, youre not in control of your life. In fact, reacting is the opposite of control. You see something fun and you chase it. You see something scary and you run away. Either way, your environment is determining your behavior.Its ironic that we so often say to others, Dont tell me what to do And yet, all too often, were letting the world around us determine our actions. Were not starting from plans and decisions, were reacting.And these days were often sitting there hoping we get a new text,email, update or notification. Were all but saying, Please, tell me what to do.And while technology has made the problem worse, this issuehas been around forever. About 2000 years ago the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said thisIf a person gave away your body to some passerby, youd be furious. Yet, you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled - have you no shame in that?(To learn the 7 step morning ritual that will keep you happy all d ay, click here.)mora often we need to step back rather than dive in. But how do we do that? First, we need to prepare. . .Control your contextBrian Wansink is a professor at Cornell who studies eating behavior. And one of the main things hes found about overeating is that its rarely due to hunger. Its usually due to context.FromMindless Eating Why We Eat More Than We ThinkEveryone - every single one of us - eats how much we eat largely because of whats around us.Youeat less when food is farther away and more when its closer. Heres BrianPeople ate half as much if we simply moved the candy dish off their desk andplaced it six feet away.So when you need to get work done, put your phone on the other side of the room. Make distractions harder to reach.When you have fewer things to react to or you make it harder to react to them, youll be less reactive.(To learn the 4 rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, click here.)Preparation is great but thats just the first line of defense . What do youneed to do when youre face to face with something thats pulling you into reactive mode?Stay calmTake a pause. Something fun is saying Come play with me Or something scary is in front of you and you want to run away and procrastinate. So just pause for a second.As Marcus Aurelius said a long time agoThe first thing to do - dont get worked up The next thing to do - consider carefully the task at hand for what it is, while remembering your purpose is to be a good human being.And verfaulen science agrees. All that emotion is not going to help.Albert Bernstein, a clinical psychiatrist, says staying calm is key to making good decisions in the heat of the momentthe basic idea is that in many situations, youre reacting with instincts programmed into your dinosaur brain, rather than thinking through a situation. If youre in your dinosaur brain, youre going to play out a 6 million-year-old program, and nothing goodis going to happen.Neuroscientistssay stress takes your prefront al cortex - the rational part of your brain - offline. Quite simply, stress makes you stupid. And thats why just reacting often makes you do stupid things.(To learn how astronauts, Samurai, and Navy SEALs stay calm and make good decisions, click here.)Okay, you paused. But you cant just freeze every time something tempting comes up. So whats next?Think about your goalsMake sure the most important thing staysthe most important thing.Even the ancient Stoics knew that.Epictetus saidFirst tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, then do what you have to do. For in nearly every pursuit we see this to be the case. Those in athletic pursuit first choose the sport they want, and then do that work.Not big on Stoicism?The ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness is on the same page. Joseph Goldstein, one of the leading experts in the field, told me something very similarWhere is this action leading? Do I want to go there? This thought which has arisen, is it helpful? Is it serving me or others in some way or is it not? Is it just playing out perhaps old conditions of fear or judgment or things that are not very helpful for ourselves or others?And modern neuroscience researchagrees with both.Thinking about your long-term goals when youre tempted by distraction gives your brain a sense of control and can release dopamine which will make you feel better and more motivated.Alex korbschlger, a neuroscientist at UCLA, told me thisBy thinking, Okay, what is my long-term goal? What am I trying to accomplish? Calling that to mind can actually make it feel rewarding to be doing homework instead of going to the party because then your brain is like, Oh yeah. Im working towards that goal. Im accomplishing something thats meaningful to me. Then that can start to release dopamine in the nucleus accumbens and that can start to make you feel better about what youre doing.(To learn more aboutthe six rituals that ancient wisdom says can make you happy, click here.)Youre calm a nd youre thinking about your goals. Now comes the hard part. . .Make adeliberate decisionTurning down fun distractionsis hard. Resisting the urge to procrastinate is really hard.Sotake a second and deliberatelydecide not to give in. I know,that sounds waaaaay too easy to be helpfulWrong.Neuroscience shows pausing andtaking the time to make adecision actually helps stop you from engaging in bad behavior.Via The Upward SpiralMaking decisions also helps overcome striatum activity, which usually pulls you toward negative impulses and routines.And then, finally, act on that decision. Follow your long-term goals. Heres neuroscientist Alex KorbWhen the prefrontal cortex is taken offlineby stress we end up doing things that are immediately pleasurable.Instead of getting overwhelmed, ask yourself, Whats one little thing that I could do now that would move me toward this goal Im trying to accomplish? Taking one small step toward it can make it start to feel more manageable.(To learn more abou t the neuroscience behind mindfulness, click here.)Okay, weve learned a lot. Lets round it up and see what happens when we put it into actionSum upHeres how to resist distraction and be less reactiveControl your context You cant react to whats not there.Stay calm Stress makes you dumb. Stress and reacting leads to dumb behavior.Think about your goals Get Stoicism, mindfulness and dopamine on your side.Make adeliberate decision When you do, your brain is betterable to resist no-nos.You dont have to react and answer that text immediately. You dont have to react to that delicious smell and eat all the cookies. You can pause, stay calm, think about your goals and decide to do the right thing.Were all so afraid of being bored that we run to any distraction that presents itself. But when we truly engage with the world and focus on our goals, were never bored.And as David Foster Wallace said, If you are immune to boredom, there is literally nothing you cannot accomplish.Join over 271,000 r eaders.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Professor on ways mindfulness can make us sharper in the office

Professor on ways mindfulness can make us sharper in the officeProfessor on ways mindfulness can make us sharper in the officeLeah Weiss is a professor at the Stanford University Graduate School of Business, and the author of the recently released How We Work Live Yur Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind. She recently joined Caroline Webb, CEO of Sevenshift and author of How to Have a Good Day, in a conversation about how individuals can bring mindfulness into their everyday lives, both in and out of the office.This conversation has been edited and condensed. To view Leah and Carolines full conversation, click the video below.(function(d, s, id) var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)0 if (d.getElementById(id)) return js = d.createElement(s) js.id = id js.src = https//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.jsxfbml=1version=v3.1 fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs)(document, script, facebook-jssdk))We are LIVE with Leah Weiss (Mindfulness At Work) and Caroline Webb talking about using mindfulness techniques to make each day at work a good one.Posted by Heleo on Friday, March 16, 2018Caroline We both share a strong interest in what the research suggests about how you can be at your best every day in the working world. The particular area of overlap that were going to talk about today is our shared interest in mindfulness. Could we, first of all, get a picture of what mindfulness is and how and why its so good for us?Leah My favorite definition of mindfulness is a simple one the intentional use of attention. You can do that with anything that youre doing, talking, working, anywzu siche, anytime. Meditation can help you do it, but there are also other ways.My favorite definition of mindfulness is a simple one the intentional use of attention.Caroline I especially like that definition of mindfulness because, like a lot of people, I had tried meditation. I really relish doing it when Im in a group, but on my own, I always found it difficult to buil d any kind of meaningful daily practice that went beyond a minute or two.So, I became really interested in the research around, How little meditation do you need in order to get the benefits? The research on meditation is quite compelling - it shows that we have greater emotional regulation, mora stillness, more ability to be calm in the face of stress. It shows all sorts of cognitive benefits, analytical capacity improving, and so forth. That all sounds pretty great.I started to look at studies that showed you only have to do 20 minutes, 3 times a week - thats still quite a lot. What would it look like if it were less than that? The magic of the way that this seems to work for our brains is that even a moment or two of stillness, of directing your attention to where you want it to go, is going to reap some benefits for you.The magic of the way that this seems to work for our brains is that even a moment or two of stillness, of directing your attention to where you want it to go, is going to reap some benefits for you.Leah I think thats an important way that youre framing it. I spent most of my 20s doing long meditation retreats in graduate school. Then came my 30s and three kids - ages five and under. For me, the questions became What is the research? and How can I apply behauptung skills that Ive found in the context of meditation in the day-to-day churn? What youre saying is consistent with what the research suggests and what Ive been finding - we can put these frequent light tick anchors in our day, and they make such a big difference.Caroline I came to call them mindfulness moments. The practice I could actually work with was every time Im walking somewhere, I begin to notice the way that my feet feel on the ground and to, in particular, notice the way that my toes grip the ground. That brings my attention to a single point of focus that quiets everything else down. That was transformational for me, to realize I could have this as part of everything I do in the day. Even in an office, you walk around from time to time, so as you go to the bathroom, you can notice your toes on the floor.There was one client of mine who was trying to find a daily practice that would give her a moment for mindfulness, and she decided that she would hold a pen in her hand and just turn the pen. She would look at the pen, and that would be her mindfulness moment. I love that, because in any meeting, she can do that.Every time Im walking somewhere, I begin to notice the way that my feet feel on the ground and to, in particular, notice the way that my toes grip the ground. That brings my attention to a single point of focus that quiets everything else down.Whats your favorite small way of bringing mindfulness into your day?Leah For me, my mindfulness moments are anything that is bringing attention into the body while Im working. Its so easy for a lot of us who are working in the world of ideas to have a very disembodied experience the majority of our d ay. So paying attention to things like posture, or even taking the transitions from sitting to standing to walking to meetings, these moments can bring us back in our bodies. A lot of my students, when I ask them about their goals, they want to find ways to be authentic leaders and handle their emotions in an authentic way thats also appropriate for work - thats not always easy to do. The key to doing that is recognizing that emotions exist in our bodies, and that if we can get more clear on our physical sensations as emotions are happening, then we can use that to help regulate how we are behaving in response.Caroline Beautifully put. I have to say, you had a nightmare travel experience just on the way to this conversation- did you use your mindfulness techniques as you were stopped in traffic?Leah I did. For each extra five minutes the trip took, my body was uptight and my head would start to spin. In these kinds of situations, I have to keep coming back to body and breath - fre aking out isnt going to get me there any faster. So I thought, What could I do? I could pick up the phone and call Caroline, and we could make a plan, which would be much better than my spinning out on my own.Caroline Theres such a long tradition of breathing being the way that you put yourself back in the body and bring your attention to a single point. Lots of people have different preferences on breathing- some people swear by the simple one-two in, three-four out. There are others who like triangular breathing- you breathe in for two, then you breathe out for two, and then hold two, and so on. Do you have a little technique that you use?Leah My background in training and meditation comes out of the Tibetan tradition, and theres a whole system of Tibetan yoga, which focuses on breath retention. So thats often my habit, to breathe in, hold the air in the abdomen for a few moments, and then a really full exhale. I find that very helpful.Caroline Thats great. This is the sort of thi ng that you can build into every day. Theres also another dimension that I think both of us are interested in, which is compassion. Where do you put your attention when youre dealing with other people, or when youre dealing with yourself?Leah This is one of the places that people get tripped up. What does it look like to recognize the humanity in relationships when were working with people and we have to get stuff done? How do I balance taking care of myself and getting my own things done, versus being supportive to the people around me? Those are two of the key questions that people ask.There are small mindset hacks to recognize that the people we see in one role have a much fuller life than we may be aware of. They have families, they learned to tie their shoelaces when they were kids. When we think about the bigger picture, even with the people who are driving us nuts at work, it can really impact how we approach them and how a relationship goes.Caroline I like the way that your focus on compassion joins up with my focus on assuming good part, bad circumstances because of confirmation bias, and the fact that whatever we expect of someone will likely be what we see. If you go into a conversation with someone and you are looking for evidence that theyre a jerk, you are more likely to see it, and you might miss the one moment where theyre a bit more considerate and friendly. You can be deliberate about the quality of attention that you bring to the conversation.One thing that I know youre interested in is the way that mindfulness can help you think about bigger career decisions. How have you helped the scores of students that have come through Stanford think about their careers using mindfulness?Weve replaced the era of ping pong tables as the perk, and now people are looking deeply at the signs that an organization has compassion and long-term care for its employees.Leah One of the things thats really begun to stand out for me is watching the students as they re leaving business school and making choices about which work environments theyre going to go into. I see them asking questions like, Which environment feels the most purposeful to me? Which environment is going to support me as a full person? I think that weve replaced the era of ping pong tables as the perk, and now people are looking deeply at the signs an organization has compassion and long-term care for its employees.Caroline One of the connections between this very small habit of a mindfulness moment and making big career decisions is that we dont make great decisions when were freaking out. When people are stressing and the opposite of calm, we know that they arent thinking as clearly. So at the very least, learning how to quiet your mind will help you think more clearly and pay more attention to the things that really matter.Ive also seen, in the work that Ive done with people over the years, how a guided meditation on some interesting questions can bring insight to what y ou are really looking for in your job and in your career.There was time that I was working with a large group of lawyers. Lawyers mostly stay lawyers - once theyre in a career as an attorney, thats what they do. But there are still some choices about what they might focus on within that. I was working with these guys, and I explained that they would think more clearly if they were calm, and that what we were going to do would help bring that clarity of thought.I got them to look at their feet on the floor, and I asked them to think about their life as a child, and to think about a time that they were playing a game or doing an activity that they absolutely loved, with no constraints, and what it was about that experience that gave them so much energy and joy.There were three or four more questions, but the point is, When do you take a moment to step back and think about that? When do you take a moment to give yourself the quiet time to think back to that? It was one of the most bea utiful sessions I remember having. The quality of thought, the depth of reflection was something quite special.Its quieting the should, and amplifying the could. What could I be doing if I were playing more to the strengths and passions that come up in these moments? Leah Thats a lovely example. One of the tools Ive been using more over the last few years, following the research about envisioning our future selves and how it impacts the choices that we make today, is to ask, What does it look like 20 years from now, when you have found your ideal work in life? To your point, we dont take the time to really envision that, but professional athletes will, and it increases their performance. We can learn from this skill and start using it.The students and the organizations I do this with have amazing conversations with each other, and learn so much more about what brings them passion and purpose as a result.Caroline One simple way that you could get started, if you are reading this and thinking, I dont know whether Im ready for visualization, is to get yourself in some quiet space, and give yourself a chance to deeply reflect. Think about moments when youve been at a real peak. Not where youve been ticking other peoples boxes, but where you feel truly energized. It might be with your family, it might be at work, it might be the community. Start to pay attention to what was going on at that time as you visualize this in your minds eye. What was the schauplatz? What was the type of interactions you were having?Then get into the habit of doing that from time to time, so that you start to build up a really rich picture of what your peaks truly are. Youve got some fantastic data to sit and think, So this is me when Im unconstrained and bringing my attention quietly without judgment. Its quieting the should and amplifying the could. What could I be doing if I were playing more to the strengths and passions that come up in these moments?This article first appeared on Hel eo.